Blog

These last few days have been challenging, as we all witness the horrific events in the Middle East. We have been continuously collaborating with our Internal Security Team, Security Company, Nassau County Police Department and our local/federal partners, to ensure the best safety protocol for our congregants, staff, families and entire community. In response to “Worldwide Day of Jihad”, we are implementing additional security protocol. While we are not currently aware of any planned activities in the local area, we will continue to remain vigilant.

You are an integral part of the process. Please take a moment to review the protocols we are implementing for this weekend Friday, October 13^th through Sunday, October 15^th. Should we need to continue this protocol after this date, we will send further communication.

• We will have increased security and police presence at the synagogue.
• On Friday, October 13^th we ask that no visitors come to the building during the day. The building will only be open to staff and children. If you need anything, please reach out to the synagogue office.
• In order to come into the building this weekend, you must show a pass to the security guards either in printed form or on your phone. This includes for Shabbat Services Friday night, the B’nei Mitzvah on Saturday, Torah Study, Religious School, etc. Passes were sent to members, Nursery School and UPK parents and other authorized people by email. If you require one and did not receive it, please call the office or email office@northshoresynagogue.org.
• For Religious School, you will be stopped in the driveway and will need to display the pass (printed form or phone) before entering the parking lot.
• Our collection bin to donate items for Israel has been placed outside at the end of the circle. If you would like to join us on Sunday to help sort the items at prepared is being protected.

Dear North Shore Synagogue Family,

We are all reeling from the horrific attack on our homeland. The Israeli death toll is past the 1,000 mark with thousands more injured and, at last check, about 130 people taken hostage, including the elderly (even a holocaust survivor) and children (including toddlers and a 9 month old infant.)

So many of us have visited Israel, have relatives or friends in Israel, and are connected to Israel. We here at North Shore Synagogue will always support Israel.

We are here to support our entire community. We all want to do something – anything – to help. I share your feelings of inadequacy in what we can do, but we are not powerless. True, we cannot fly over to Israel to fight, defend, and protect our people, but we can send fighter jets and machines. We can send medical equipment. We can help with our money.

If you want to donate, here is a list of places we have deemed reputable.

The Jewish National Fund is directly assisting Israelis on the ground with real-time help. Your donation will help The Fellowship provide basic necessities like food, medical assistance, and shelter as well as safety and security provisions in times of crisis. To donate to their efforts, please click Donate Now.

The UJA Federation has launched an Israel Emergency fund which gives Emergency cash assistance for victims of terror. Critically needed trauma counseling. Care for children in shelters. Burial expenses. Funds to relocate people to safer areas. To donate to the UJA emergency Israel fund please click Donate here.

The needs are without precedent and mounting every day.

In a longer fight, we pray, please contact your elected officials and demand that they support Israel with money, support, and words in the media against those who would twist the truth and reality of what is going on.

To do that, please use the link below which will take you to the American Jewish Committee.

Stand with Israel – Take Action

It’s incredibly important to stay educated correctly. Here are links of news stations and places where you can get true information, please follow these links.

Israel is Under Attack – What you need to know

What World Leaders are Saying

Everything You Need to Know About Israel AJC Resources

Haaretz in English

The Times of Israel

If you would like information on how to speak with children about this war, please use these links.

Talking to Children about War

Talking to Children: When Scary Things Happen

Talking to Teens: When Scary Things Happen

Creating Supportive Environments: When Scary Things Happen

Assisting Parents/Caregivers in Coping with Collective Trauma

If you need specific support, please reach out to our clergy. We have set up a special email just for this need. Please reach out using caring@northshoresynagogue.org

If you know anyone who has been injured, please let us know so that we can pray for them. If you know anyone who has been killed, please let us know so we can support you and pray Kaddish together as a community for them. If you know of anyone taken hostage, please let us know so that we can pray for them. Please share with us the names of your loved ones in Israel by sending an email to caring@northshoresynagogue.org so we can pray for them as a community.

We will be speaking with our religious school students, at an age appropriate basic and vague level, at the beginning of Religious school on Wednesday, Sunday, and Monday. For those children who know more specifics and would like to speak, we are all available during religious school hours and beyond and can address it personally. Please feel free to join us as we hold special services and programs in support of Israel during those times.

We know that antisemitism often rises whenever there is conflict in Israel, specifically on college campuses where, recently anti-zionism has become a large problem. If your child or someone you know is in college and needs support at this time, please have them contact our clergy. We are here to help.

Please join us this Friday night, October 13th for Shabbat, as we pray for peace in Israel and raise our voices in song together as one community.

My friends, no one is alone. We have each other. Your family at North Shore Synagogue is not going anywhere. We are here for you always.

All our best in peace,

Rabbi Shalhevet, Cantor Hevenstone, Executive Director, Jacquelynn Golub, and President Sondra Cardno

From Rabbi Jaimee Shalhevet…

Dear North Shore Synagogue Family,

As the sun sets on summer and a new school year begins, we want to wish those of you returning to school as students, teachers, faculty, or staff a year filled with learning, growth and enjoyment.

For our students and their parents:

And so begins a new year….
May it be a year of learning and growth, a year of new experiences and understanding.
May they outgrow their shoes and may they not lose their jackets.
May each day bring something new and may routine guide their steps.
May their pencils be sharp and their minds even sharper.
May they revel in the joy of each new fact learned, each right answer, each small accomplishment.
May the erasers on their pencils get as much use as the tips.
May they learn that wrong answers can be just as important as right ones.
May they ask questions, lots and lots of questions, and may their teachers be patient. Very patient.
May they make friends and build relationships, and may they make lifelong connections.
May they be kind and polite and each one a mensch of the highest order.

And may this year be filled with blessings..

For our teachers, faculty, and staff:

May God bless you as you start this new year with your students and colleagues.
May your school environment be one of respect.
May you see the difference you make in your students.
May you witness the impression you have on your colleagues.
May you be appreciated with word and deed.
May you find excitement in everyday.
May you receive visits from the past that let you know how much you make a difference.
May you be able to find light in the darkest of places.
May this school year be one of growth and renewal

Like a few other cultures, our Jewish calendar is a lunar one, following the cycle of the moon. It still consists of 12 months, but because each cycle of the moon is 29.5 days long, every month is either 29 or 30 days, sometimes not the same each year. It makes the year only 355 days long unlike the Gregorian calendar of 365 days. This is why we say “oh! The holidays are early (or late) this year!” Now, every so often (It actually occurs 7 times in a 19 year cycle – but don’t ask me for the logarithm, I’m a rabbi, not a mathematician), there is a leap – where in the Jewish calendar we add an entire month (instead of a Day in February every 4 years which is MUCH easier to keep track of!). This is when the holidays seem to jump ahead again and then slowly move earlier and earlier until we need another jump. For this reason, our Jewish months only mostly coincide with the same American months. This year, we are lucky and January, February, and March each have one Holiday – nicely balanced.

This is all to lead us into the intriguing idea that our Jewish holidays do not only stand alone as celebrations, ceremonies, or memorials, but rather also take us on a journey through the year and our lives, teaching us valuable lessons as we travel together. Even if we do not celebrate each holiday, knowing about them can help us to glean lessons to help shape our lives.

This year, on January 3rd, there is a holy day known as the Fast of Tevet. It falls on the 10th day of the Jewish month of Tevet and in Hebrew is called “Aseret B’Tevet”, just meaning the 10th of Tevet. Unlike religious holidays, this day of remembrance, repentance, and commemoration begins at sunRISE on January 3rd and ends at night on the same day. The 10th of Tevet is not a later thought in our history, it is actually mentioned in our bible as well. In the book of Second Kings, chapter 25, verse one, our Bible states, “In the ninth year of Zedekiah’s reign, on the tenth day of the tenth month, Nebuchadnezzar moved against Jerusalem with his whole army. He besieged it; and they built towers against it all around. The city continued in a state of siege until the eleventh year of King Zedekiah.” Thus the 10th of Tevet is a day to remember when Nebuchadnezzar began his siege of Jerusalem until it finally fell, and the first Temple was destroyed on the 9th of Av over 2 years later. This day of fasting bears witness to the destruction of our people’s way of life and what could have been the complete destruction of our people.

A month and three days later, on February 6th this year, we will celebrate Tu B’shevat. Another holiday known only by its date (the 15th of Shevat), Tu B’shevat is one of our four Jewish new year. It’s not so unusual to have more than one new year. We in America have January 1st as the official new Calendar year, with April 15th marking the tax year and sometime in September marking the school year. So, Jews have many new years as well. Tu B’shevat is the new year of the trees. It is not mentioned in the bible, but rather has a later creation, when the Jews are more settled in our lands and we can actually count how old the very trees we planted are. On Tu B’shevat, it is traditional to have a seder mirroring our Passover seder with four glasses of wine, but they move from white wine to rose to red in order to celebrate the seasons. We plant seeds in the hopes that new life will grow, and it has become somewhat of a tradition to plant parsley on Tu B’shevat to use when it grows as the parsley on our seder plates for Passover.

Yet one month later on the evening of March 6th to the evening of March 7th is the holiday of Purim. A holiday of complete joy and celebration. A holiday where our Heroine Esther saves her people through dishonesty, seduction, and bravery. (Feel free to attend my Purim class as we get closer to this holiday to hear the true Danielle Steel novel that the book of Esther really is!) Anyway, the book of Purim is pure joy, fun, and silly antics rejoicing in the saving of our people.

So, what do these holidays come along to teach us on this journey? From the Fast of Tevet through Tu B’shevat to Purim we go from destruction to planting seeds in the hopes that they will grow, to celebrating the success and survival of our people. Our holiday timeline echoes the line from Psalm 126, “Those who sow in tears will reap in joy.”

So let us remember as we travel through the winter to the spring from January through March, to keep our holidays in mind. When we feel like we are under siege, when we feel that our walls have been breached and all is lost. Take the time to mourn – but only from sunrise until nightfall, not the full time of a normal holiday. Then plant a seed and tend it. If we tend it and care for it, we will one day reap in joy and laughter as the book of Esther says, “La Yehudim Hayta Ora, v’simcha v’sasson vikar. For the Jews had light and gladness, happiness and honor. May it be so with us and all the world.”

Kein Y’hi Ratzon. Be this God’s will.

The President’s note is purposeful if it provides information that , once read, is beneficial to congregants. The note needs to express the indebtedness of our staff, including our Rabbi, Executive Director, teachers, maintenance and office staff. The President’s note should highlight past and upcoming important synagogue events, fundraising efforts, school achievements, and our ability to bring joy and a sense of belonging to our community. There is no question that the entire Board of Trustees and me value the contributions of everyone we work with and serve. I am writing this just after the amazing Chanukah celebration with over 300 in attendance and the acquisition of a third year of the universal Pre-K program due to our successful reputation of providing wonderful services to the 4 years olds who attend this program in our building. I am very grateful that many people have expressed the feeling that North Shore Synagogue is a place to feel good, uplifted, and at home. We enter the year 2023 with excited anticipation of more good things ahead.

Everyone has their “thing” that brings them to 83 Muttontown Eastwoods Road. The Shabbat family and musical services bring people who enjoy a spirited and lively way to end one week and start another. Some Friday nights, there are those who come to remember loved ones on the anniversary of their passing. Parents come to bring their kids to Religious or Nursery School and for B’nei mitzvah lessons. Recently, one parent asked me how to show his daughter his connections to the synagogue while he was encouraging her to attend religious school. I told him that I love Torah Study. Every Saturday morning, there is a group of people that come together to try and understand this week’s torah portion. No Hebrew or prior knowledge required, is how it’s promoted. That might not sound as good as a game of pickleball or a round of golf or even sleeping late after a long week. And yet, it is an amazing time for those who attend. We read a text that was written thousands of years ago. We debate the importance of repeated words, why harsh punishment is presented as a solution, and how the writings of history can be applied today. When I think about being a Jewish woman in the Reform movement, I understand why I believe in the value of change. When I drive on Shabbat, I am not beating or harming an animal, when I turn on the lights in my home, I am not working to light a fire. And, through Torah study, I can respect the value of traditions being held that are not “modern.” Most importantly, attending Torah study is a place that I learn from our Rabbi, and other clergy or lay leaders who bring lessons from the parsha to those in the group. We end our study with a small service, a few pertinent prayers, as well as prayers for healing and remembrance. It is a small group where we can share, perhaps, why those names are important and by that action keep them in the hearts and minds of others.

I wish everyone a healthy and peaceful 2023. We will continue to have something for everyone here at North Shore Synagogue and I hope to see you all soon. Thank you for your continued support.

Almost everything I see these days is telling me that time is running out. The school superintendent is sending emails such as “it’s hard to believe there’s only 6 more weeks of the school year!” The principal is sending messages saying “hurry to buy those black dress slacks for the end of the year concert! Only 19 more days to go!” Summer camp is reminding me to fill out my forms because “camp starts in only 60 days!”

Advertisements on television, radio, and the internet are all urging me to “lock in now, before prices go up!” or “Buy now, only a few more left in stock!” Of course, then I rush to sign onto my Amazon account to order whatever the item is only to find out that it won’t ship to me in time for whatever I need it for even though I have Amazon Prime. So then I race to the physical store – a rare occasion in these past two years for so many of us – only to find that they have no stock due to shipping delays and production delays worldwide.
Is there any surprise that our country finds itself in a mental health crisis – specifically anxiety disorders? Now, there is a difference for sure, between feeling anxious or nervous about something and actually suffering from an anxiety disorder, but the symptoms in the moment can be alarmingly similar. And if those nervous or anxious moments are forced upon anyone for enough times, the weight can become unbearable. Our country, as a whole, is suffering. And we are both the victim and the assailant.

It’s an age old method. News reporters will tell you that tragedy, drama, and blood sells. The winner of the national spelling bee, or the idea that the weather was sunny again with enough drizzle to perfectly water the daffodils, does not. And while it might be true, it doesn’t make it healthy. It doesn’t make it helpful. And it doesn’t make it right.

Now, I don’t think that this bulletin article or any changes that it may inspire anyone to make, will even begin to make a dent in our country-wide culture of preying on “FOMO” (Fear Of Missing Out). I cannot hope to make an impact as strong as that. But, I do hope that this can touch one person in one way or another.

What do I mean by that? What then, is my message?
My message, my plea, is simple. Be aware of the other. Tactics aimed at using and abusing someone else’s fears or insecurities, is not only unethical, but it is hurtful and unacceptable as well. Another person’s weakness is not yours to exploit for your own gain, either personal or business. On the flipside, do not feel compelled to take on anyone else’s anxiety. Now, this is much easier said than done. And for those in our community with mental health struggles, it is a daily battle that wages constantly. If you do not suffer from a disorder, but you find yourself having difficulty coping with something, please take a moment to stop and breathe. Try self-talk, meditation, or simply to close your eyes at that moment and slow things down. If you feel that you have an anxiety disorder – if your anxiety begins to interfere with your everyday life, please see a professional. My door (zoom, in person, phone, or otherwise) is always open and I am happy to listen, help if I can, and refer you when necessary, to someone who can help you. You are NOT alone.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but mental health is a lifelong commitment. Please don’t stay silent if you are suffering. Call me in the office at extension 111 or on my cell phone at 516-330-0667. I’m here for you.

I remember hearing in college, from Professor Jyl Lynn Felman, that race is fluid. I remember thinking that was an insane statement. You couldn’t change your race, I argued. I couldn’t decide I was Black any more than a dove could choose to become a tiger. The class discussed for quite some time the definition of the word “race.” Our definitions ranged from those found in the dictionary:
1. any one of the groups that humans are often divided into based on physical traits regarded as common among people of shared ancestry.
2. the fact of dividing people, or of people being divided, into such groups
3. a group of people sharing a common cultural, geographical, linguistic, or religious origin or background.
4. a group of living things considered as a category

To our own interpretations based on experiences:
1. “Race” refers to physical differences that groups and cultures consider socially significant, while “ethnicity” refers to shared culture, such as language, ancestry, practices, and beliefs.
While the sociology majors defined race this way:
1. Sociologists define race as a concept that is used to signify different types of human bodies. While there is no biological basis for racial classification, sociologists recognize a long history of attempts to organize groups of people based on similar skin color and physical appearance. The absence of any biological foundation makes race challenging to define and classify, and as such, sociologists view racial categories and the significance of race in society as unstable, always shifting, and intimately connected to other social forces and structures.
My brain hurt. How could race be socially constructed? Either a person was made of one race, or another, right?
And then professor Felman said one word that forever changed my closed-minded view of race. She said “holocaust.”
“One day”, she began, “you are walking down the main street of your town and you are German. Your race is Aryan. Your race is German. Your race is whatever is accepted. Jewish is your religion. And then the next day, you are told that your genetic make-up is different than that of your neighbor and now ‘Jew” is a race. Boom, your race has changed. It was fluid. And sadly, able to be defined by someone else.” This is what Whoopi Goldberg missed in her statements about the holocaust. She stated about the Holocaust, “But it’s not about race. It’s not. It’s about man’s inhumanity to other man.” There has been backlash against Ms. Goldberg directly following her statements and she has not only apologized, but used this mistake as an opportunity to reeducate herself about the Holocaust and educate herself about the entire idea of race. While I am deeply saddened that her original statements occurred on such a large screen, I am incredibly proud of and grateful to her for sharing her lessons learned on as many screens as she can, as well.
In the story of Purim that will occur soon, we see another case where Judaism is seen as something that needs to be hidden in order for a person to survive and rise in society. While we may all be aware of Mordecai’s monotheistic statement that he will not bow down to evil Haman because Jews only bow down to the one true God, that’s not at all what Purim is about. Mordecai and all the other Jews surely bowed to King Ahasuearus. Our tradition teaches that Mordecai wouldn’t bow to Haman because Haman was a descendant of Amalek, sworn enemy of the Israelite people in the bible. Interesting sidenote, but Purim isn’t about that either.
There is no mention of praying to God in the book of Esther. In fact, God isn’t mentioned even once. Neither is the god or gods of the Persians. Judaism isn’t seen in the story of Purim as a religion, but rather as a people, as a race. Jews are compared to Persians, not to Zoroastrians (as their religions would have them be called). And Mordecai is even referred to as “of Jewish stock,” (Esther 6:13) a clear reference to race.

Esther remains silent. She, even as a Jew herself, at first refuses to come before the king and declare racism. It takes Mordecai, convincing her that even she will not survive this ordeal, to make her finally stand up and call out Haman’s actions and the king’s implicit agreement for what it really is, racism and antisemitism.
Today, we are not only seeing a rise in antisemitism around the United States and the world, but we are also seeing a rise in people remaining silent about it.
Race is fluid, a social construct. But when the vocal few find us Jews a race or a people when it suits them, (The hostage taker in Texas demanded to speak to Rabbi Angela Buchdahl or Central Synagogue in New York City, because he wanted her to use her Jewish influence to secure the release of a terrorist) and yet not a race, also when it suits them, (That same hostage situation in Texas was called “not antisemitism” by the FBI because “the attack was focused on an issue not directly related to the Jewish community.” (https://www.independent.co.uk)), that fluidity and social construction is never more evident. Let us not forget that the first person to ever call us a “people” was Pharoah, who then used that to enslave us for 400 years.
Judaism is a people, a socially constructed race, a religion, and even a way of life. If we want to survive and thrive, we must claim and cling to all of those definitions. We must stick together. And, like Esther finally learns at the end of her own story, we must speak out before it’s too late.